I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
