you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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