there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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