I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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