Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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