is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize