The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
