You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
