he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
