Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The beer is more important than you right now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
