You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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