im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
