you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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