the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
