if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
