Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
