maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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