he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
