hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
