It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
