check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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