She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
