Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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