sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i dont even know how to be here
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
