I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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