yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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