I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
