big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you had me at cake vodka
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
