apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
