no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Randomize
