Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
