what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
