I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
