My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
