I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
