Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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