No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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