I hate your face
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My ass is underappreciated
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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