Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
