I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
