she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
