she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
