is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I want a musical about memes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
