People with herpes should wear stickers.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want to be your penis for a week.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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