He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
