she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
