I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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