Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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