she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
