Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
