You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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