Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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