what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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