You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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