I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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