I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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